6 Glimpses Of A Substance Abuse Vortex
From a drug overdose to a meditation on recovery
It seems like many addicts have at least one overdose story. It’s a well-worn trope of the substance abused-life genre. Although I never used heroin, I got my hands on other opiates quite a few times, in pill form.
This time it’s Oxycontin, Codeine, and eventually an entire batch of marijuana brownies to keep the mood going. Then I add on a quadruple dose of my prescription, sedative antipsychotics, to put a cap on the evening.
That’s enough to lay me into a deep sleep for a long time. And to think, I was just trying to get high.
“My depression has become as heavy as the metal music I listen to.”
1. Maelstrom
Vapor rises from the road outside my apartment, like it sometimes does after it rains, when the ground has been recently warmed by the sun. Evening sets in and the air goes cold — too cold.
I get anxiety pangs every hour or two, so I take regular walks around the block, compulsively smoking cigarettes, and listening to music that brings me more in touch with my anger and sadness. Tonight, I savor its nullification, through blissful yet guilty self-medicating.
